The space between a blink and a tear.... [entries|friends|calendar] Lauren [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

wow i have not used this thing in forever [It's Thursday Feb 5th, 10:39am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] i think i might start using it more. my english teacher suggested making a journal, i think i will use this. journaling is always a good idea. idk if anyone uses lj anymore. i hope heather ends up okay, it saddened me when i was just looking at her lj and she was talking about how just because her mom killed herself that she wasnt going to.. and she did try =( its so sad. i wish her mom could of just had one last thought of "i wonder what will happen to my kids" i mean i understand that her mom wasnt in the right state of mind and was obviously upset, but ugh idk... i feel so bad for alycia and heather and pat, there all going through so much, i wish i could go see heathe r=( Forgot to Remember

.... [It's Saturday Sep 30th, 8:12pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] [ music | cute is what we aim fer ] Shaking on the outside Because of what I'm feeling inside My chest is fucking hurting And my stomach's fucking burning I laughed when you were crying And say inside you're dying Because you gave up way too early Your fucking pain is so deserving Don't wanna take it Because I fucking hate it Why do we talk when All we do is argue Nothing to be said Except you make me wish I was dead This time I'm breaking up for good I never felt this way before Open chest, heart on the floor I never wished that I was dead Until I met you I fucking hate the way I'm feeling Because my fucking life's not changing You broke me down when you stopped caring Your fucking misery's my healing I never felt this way before Open chest, heart on the floor I never wished that I was dead Until I met you I never felt this way before Until I met you I never felt this way before Until I met you 8 Forgot to Remember

good bye [It's Wednesday Sep 20th, 9:41pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made And like a baby boy I never was a man Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand And then I fell down yelling “make it go away!” Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be And then he whispered “How can you do this to me?”  Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you 1 Forgot to Remember

[It's Wednesday Sep 20th, 9:40pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] hate me today Forgot to Remember

[It's Saturday Sep 2nd, 7:54pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] I'm tired of being quiet. I'm sick of writing the songs that make you think that you're so special. You never really were that special DIE love Forgot to Remember

<3 [It's Saturday Sep 2nd, 7:53pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] Its really good to hear your voice calling myname it sounds so sweet coming from the lips of an angel 1 Forgot to Remember

[It's Saturday Sep 2nd, 9:50am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] ANNA YOU ARE SUCH FUCKING MENTAL CASE...  ICANT BELIVE THAT YOU TOLD HEATHER YOU WULD SLIT YOUR WRISTS IF SHE LEFT YOUR HOUSE.. I WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY AT HEATHERS AND YOU FUCKING MANIPULATED HER INTO STAYING THERE SO I WOULDNT HAVE A PLACE TO STAY... YOUR FUCKING PATHETIC.. HI MY NAMES ANNA IM GOING TO SLIT MY WRISTS OF I DONT GET MY WAY

Im not asking for your sympathy [It's Monday Aug 28th, 6:17pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] i literwallyyyy have nowhere to live... my step bro who i thought i could stay with is moving out of state fucking a Forgot to Remember

[It's Monday Aug 28th, 2:43am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] Close your eyes And I will be swimming Lullabies fill your room And I will be singing Singing to only you Don't forget I'll hold your head Watch the night sky fading red But as you sleep And no one is listening I will lift you off your feet And keep you from sinking Don't you wake up yet Cause soon I'll be leaving you But you won't be leaving me In the car The radio leaves me searching for your star A constellation of frustration Driving Hard Singing my thoughts back to me Like watching heartache on TV Forgot to Remember

Ive been thinking alot about you..is it true do you hate me [It's Monday Aug 28th, 2:15am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] Is it the end? Is it forgivable?  You have crossed the line... And Ive got a 50 doller bill  That says Im Wearing a tear in my eye Soaking in the memories From the past three years  Best friends means Best friends means Breathing in the same sequence Your hateful threats and your hurtful words have gotten the best of me This could be the plans for revenge But these words lead to dead ends These lips need medication, these days are dripping poison, girl piece by piece, and bit by bit i'll break this down for you, real slow but i can't whisper all of this and i can't seem to let this go so i'll watch the memories, turn to ashes i'll watch the love, turn to ashes incinerate whats left of this and torch the part of me that's you These words will fade when you explain why you hate them we are the same Saying sorry we're falling apart wish we knew this from the start Saying goodbye's the hardest part Wish we knew this from the start We are both alone.. its me you and the moon... We had  have each other and it's over, but it just started the blood stained the carpet Forgot to Remember

Best Friends Means Best Friends means.. [It's Saturday Aug 26th, 1:35pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] So is that what you call a getaway tell me what you got away with I've seen more spine in jelly fish I've seen more guts in 11 year old kids <b>So have another drink and drive yourself home I hope theres ice on all the roads and you ferget your seatbelt and your head goes through the windsheild</b> EVERYONE'S CAUGHT ON TO EVERYTHING YOU DO EVERYONES CAUGHT ON TO YOU Forgot to Remember

TRUE LOVE [It's Tuesday Aug 22nd, 11:46am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] 1 Forgot to Remember

perfection [It's Thursday Aug 3rd, 12:32pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again? And will you never say you that love me just to put in my face? And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again And in a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made And like a baby boy I never was a man Until I saw your blue eyes bright and I held your face in my hand And then fell down yelling “make it go away!” Just make a smile come back and shine just like is used to be And then she whispered “how can you do this to me?” Hate me today Hate me tomorrow Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you Hate me in ways Yeah ways hard to swallow Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you 2 Forgot to Remember

fgsdfhfdgjk [It's Wednesday Jul 26th, 1:10pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] AFI on  tuesday =) :Dies: im using my phone bill money ha 1 Forgot to Remember

[It's Wednesday Jul 19th, 12:29pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] [ mood | impressed ] [ music | afi ] Do you fall too? Every time that I Yes, I fall. Every time that I Do you want to try to pacify fall into me? fall into me, fall into me FALL INTO ME Watch the stars turn you to nothing. Now blush and smile as they whisk you away. Part your lips a bit more, I'll swallow your fear. I will show you how all the bite marks impress a need to be here, a need to see city lights, like rain, dance and explode, fall upon debutants reeling from nights that kiss and control all of our broken hearts. Watch the stars turn you to nothing. Now blush and smile as they whisk you away. Under the summer rain I burnt away Under the summer rain we burnt away Listen, I can't make, make a sound or feel Feel fine, I kissed the lies. Why must they be so kissable? Listen as I break, break the fourth wall's seal. Gorgeous eyes shine suicide, when will we be invisible? Forgot to Remember

Theres no more trying [It's Wednesday Jul 19th, 12:20am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] [ mood | :;slits wrists ] [ music | early november ] I always will be waiting fer you... and I know that you will never see that I cant break away from these chains to my heart... Maybe I should try to let go maybe I should try to walk away.. Theres nothing left to say... Ill give this one more try Ill give it all my best I will take a step back.. And ill let you ahead and I will take a step away and see if you come back Because theres no more trying to make this alright theres no more trying theres no more trying tonight WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME TILL YOUR DONE 3 Forgot to Remember

With this knife [It's Monday Jul 17th, 12:00pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] i let myself fall into a lie i let my walls come down i let myself smile and feel alive i let my walls come down no matter how i try i don't know why you push so far away you wrapped your hands tight around my heart and squeezed it full of pain with this knife i'll cut out the part of me the part that cares for you with this knife i'll cut out the heart of me the heart that cares for you i can't believe the way you took me down i never saw the pain coming in a million broken miles like poison in my veins the hate and the fear the nightmares that wake me up in the tears the nightmares and (the hate)... Forgot to Remember

[It's Saturday Jul 15th, 1:47am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] Im so scared.. and so confused.. Anyday now michael can be leaving.. for ever.. to PA.. and i just dontknow what im going to do.. I want to stay with him but then i want to break up with him so i dont have to go through the hurt..   I've been having all these random memories lately.having to do with my mom.. i think im going to write them all down.. 4 Forgot to Remember

Tarot Cardss [It's Monday Jul 10th, 2:29am -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] [ music | freshprince ] Sara came over anna's today and gave tarot readings and stuff along those lines...  Hold up.. back up.. so like yea.. me and mike were having problems all day.. like we always do cause i am a bitch and i have mental issues.. anyways.. and i was laying in my bed crying and randomly remembered that my pictures of my mom were in the basement still packed so i got up to ran downstairs and grab them.. and as all of this was happening.. anna was in the other room and ran in there to tell me she wanted to find my moms spirit.. and saw the pictures.. weird. man.. anyways.. so like i asked sara some questions, one of them was whether or not my mom was around or what not.. and she said shes here in this house..(annashouse) and then mike asked if my mom liked him and she said that my mom feels that he is right fer me and that he will help me.. yea so a bunch of random questions with crazy answersss one that i liked was that mike asked her about the baby that his mom had a miscarrage with like before he was born... and she was talking about the girls spirit and how she likes me.. and how she never met stacy.. and how the spirit is trying to keep him out of trouble.. so then mike asked why she didnt stop him from the 711 thing.. and she said it was because she wanted to let him go so he could figure things out on his own.. and like the 7-11 thing really jhelped him. and its weird how the spirit never met stacy.. cause that was when he was having alot of lying/bad things going on in his life  jg sdkgsdghsdjgsdkgksdg other weird things to with my reading that were highly accurate.. ill update that later... lets just say things will get better thank you saraaa =) i loveith you and and and i love mike Mike-     Im sorry for everything that i have done to you and im sorry for being tehe way that i am.. maybe saras reading was right maybe i just dont want to put forth the effort im just scared and dont have the will power.. but i do love you and i am tryinnnggg.. well will try.. to make things better.. and and and yea I love you theres only us theres only this forget regret or life is yours to miss no other road no other way no day but today 4 Forgot to Remember

spill canvas continued... [It's Sunday Jul 2nd, 1:53pm -And I don't Need Your Sympathy or Empathy-] [ music | air conditioner ] You make it dry when it's raining outside You warm my blood when the temperature dies You're my crutch when it's all to hard to bare See without you here I could not be anywhere  Hypothetically if you were point A and theoretically if I was point B, we would be, we would be frantically  M ...E ......L .......T .........I ..........N ............G  into one massive point that could overcome anything....... The streets are dark, my pulse is flat-lined as I'm running to you You sit completely unaware of what I'm about to do The air is thick with tension much like when we are together My fangs are aching as I'm pondering about you and I forever  As I round your corner I am nervous that you won't be my lover I knock three times and hope that my pale complexion won't blow my cover You answer the door with your innocent face Would you like to leave this human race, tonight? Eternity will never be enough for me and eternally will live our infallible love  Follow me into the sea We'll drown together and immortalize you and me Leave behind this lonely town We're both better than this, it's not worth being down 3 Forgot to Remember

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